Who to Invite to Your Wedding: Your Stress-Free Guest List Guide

Planning a wedding comes with one universally stressful task: building your guest list. Deciding who makes the cut (and who doesn’t) can feel overwhelming, emotional, and a little uncomfortable. But it truly doesn’t need to be.

As Boise wedding planners, we help couples navigate guest lists every single week. This guide will help you choose the people who matter most and feel confident about your decisions.

1. Start With Your “Must-Have” People

Before you even think about acquaintances or coworkers, begin with the core people in your life, the ones you could never imagine your wedding day without.

This typically includes:

✔ Parents

✔ Siblings

✔ Grandparents

✔ Your bridal party

✔ Your closest friends who feel like family

If their presence feels non-negotiable, they belong on your list.

2. Know Your Guest Count Before You Add More Names

Your venue and budget play the biggest role in determining your guest list. Once you know how many people you can invite, it becomes much easier to decide who you should invite.

Typical wedding sizes:I

ntimate: 20 to 50 guests

Small: 50 to 80 guests

Medium: 80 to 150 guests

Large: 150 to 250 guests

Extra-large: 250+ guests

Every additional guest impacts catering, rentals, invitations, and overall logistics, so be intentional with your list.

3. Decide on Your Overall Guest List Rules

Setting expectations early will save you from second-guessing yourself later.

Kids or No Kids

You can choose adults only, immediate family kids only, or all kids welcome. All are completely normal choices. What matters is staying consistent.

Plus-Ones

Many couples choose to invite plus ones only for guests who are married, engaged, or in long term relationships. Casual dating situations can be up to your comfort level.

Coworkers

You do not need to invite everyone from work. It’s perfectly acceptable to invite only the coworkers you’re close with outside of the office.

4. Use The “Coffee Test” Rule

This is one of the easiest and most effective ways to make decisions when you’re unsure.

Ask yourself:“Would I go out for a one-on-one coffee with this person today?”

If the answer is yes, they’re likely meaningful enough to be there.If the answer is no or “mmm probably not”… they may not belong on your guest list.

Couples love this rule because it cuts through guilt and gets straight to how close the relationship actually is.

5. Use The One-Year Rule For Friends

If you haven’t talked to someone in over a year, or you wouldn’t even think to text them on your birthday, they might not need an invite.

This rule helps eliminate those “we used to be close” friendships that drifted over time.

6. Don’t Get Pressured By Family Expectations

Family opinions can make guest lists tricky, especially if parents are helping financially.

It’s completely fine to give parents a small number of spots, but you don’t need to hand over half the list. Setting boundaries early helps keep the planning process drama-free.

7. Your Guest Count Shapes Your Whole Wedding Experience

Larger guest lists bring a high energy, packed dance floor vibe.Smaller guest lists create a more intentional, intimate feel.

There is no right or wrong answer. Think about the experience you want on your wedding day and let that guide the size of your list.

8. How To Avoid Hurt Feelings

A few simple strategies make everything easier:Keep your draft list private while planning Explain venue or budget limitations if someone asksAvoid discussing your guest list with acquaintances or coworkersOwn your decisions with confidence, people understand more than you think

9. The Ultimate Guest List Checklist

Invite them if:

They support your relationship

You’re close now, not just historically

You’d genuinely miss them if they weren’t there

You’d happily buy them dinner

Consider skipping if:

You’re only inviting them out of guilt

They consistently bring drama

You haven’t spoken in years

You wouldn’t feel comfortable having a real conversation with them at the wedding

Final Thoughts: Invite The People Who Truly Matter

Your wedding guest list sets the tone for the entire day. Choose the people who make you feel loved, at ease, and excited to celebrate.

Whether you're planning a small Idaho elopement or a big Boise celebration, your guest list should reflect your relationship, not anyone else’s expectations.

At Capital Occasions, we help couples feel confident and supported through every step of the planning process, guest lists included. If you need help organizing your list or navigating tricky family dynamics, we’re here for you.